Archive for August, 2013

In a Galaxy far far away…(the story so far) (this is long…)

If any of my freinds or anyone else for that matter is reading this, this is the story so far. Regarding why i haven’t been around in several years or more to see thm or just chill out. In July 2010 i had been off meds since january and i was doing reasonably well apart from stress induced visual hallucinations (more on this later). I decided to make use of my discrimination file (i had writen alot of letters on the discrimination i had suffered) and wrote a 15 point letter (yes there where 15 counts in total of dicrimination) to my local M.P Hazel Blears. I also included a letter about an article i had read which would have been of intrest to her as it was written about what a weapons inspector ha said in 1994 or thereabouts (the last time the weapons inspectors visited iraq). That letter said that during the interview the wepons inpctor had said that there were no weapons of mass detruction, The population was in free fall, any medical equipment was being used for producing pencillin and for bilogical warfare and that sanctions should be lifted. I eventually remebered that the article had probbley been published on the 28th of july but i wasn’t sure of the year or name of the journalist. The article was published in new scientist. I also said in both letter that i wanted to leave the country because of all of this and would prefer if possible to live in america. The visual hallucination became worse due to the extra stress and the way people were treating me so i decided to return to my pparents. At my parents the hallucinations practically stopped and it was at this point that i realised that it most likely was stress induced. I decided that the best course of action was to Visit my G.P near my parents and reregister so that my area would be there if i was unfortunately taken to hospital. I then went into lancaster to buy writing materials for somethings i was working on. My parents returned the next day and went balistic unfortunately two of my private journals and a pen went missing and i decided to phone th police to try andd retrieve them. Unfortunately my parents had my out of hours Social worker number. I hd told my social worker that i had been getting harrasment where i was living but he didn’t believe me and thought i was delusional he repatedly asked to contact my parents to get their pespectives on what was happening. I told  him in no uncertain terms not to contact them. Nine times out of ten i am sectioned for believeing i am being harrased, obviously a out masochist who has a mental illness is going to get social harrasment that only makes sense, but obviously it’s the best excuse the social orkers have for putting me in hospital so they use it as much as they can. Anyway as soon as i realised that my socil worker had been rung i deicded that i should leave and go to my freinds in leeds. I got to the train station at my parents and the police turned up took me to my houe and then the social worker was contacted nd i was taken by police section to the nearest mental health hospital. Since i was only suffering mildly at the time this seemed like nd overkill and grossly unfair. (The social worker had been appointed to me after the letter was recieved by hazel blears (go figure…)). I Cooperated with the hospital and told them that i was fine but the still pput me on a 28 day section (even though the whole time i was at my parents i only saw one thing that wasn’t there). What you have to realise is that i’m not confused or disorientated when i see things i never hear voices (though i may hear the occsional odd noise when on mood stabilizers). And i don’t have elated mood or depressed mood. In otherwrd i am completely normal even when i see things i can describe them accurately. And if you look at my older posts you can see the type of things i have seen, there is a definate occultic (as far as i can make out) theme to them all. So i thought i would be treated in the hospital at my parents as i had informed them of the change in G.P’s surgery. But they transfered me all the way back to the place where i had come from and placed me in a mental hospital there. At first everything was fine but then the psychiatrist gave m some of the medication i was upposed to take and this made me a bit delusional and disorientated and increased the frequency of the hallucinations. I tried to escape to get toa phone to notify the newspapers of the second letter i had written about weapons of mass destruction and was placed in the secure side of that hospital. Before this happened because i had deteriorated they decided to upgrade my section to a section 3 (6 months section). This of course was unfair considering how well i could be in the right situation and off medication but these idiot ppsychiatrist believe in çontrolling’ a condition wheras i am not bothered about controlling it, the fact is i find it intresting (it gives me something to draw(and reasearch)). Whilest on the next ward i was allowed to my flat nearby to retieve some things. I already had my complaints folder so i had all the letters from various organizations and i was amazed to find the missing journal what amzed me more was that the idiots who had taken the journals had forgotten to take the pen out the pen i had bought in lancaster the day before they went missing. I also took my laptop and my ipoddocking station and omcloathes and  left to go back to hospital. Then everything went wrong. I had been told by the nurses that i was allowed to excerie myself by walking up and down the corridor. One of the nurses took exception to thsi and decided to forcibly give me my PRN (per rota needs) medication as far as i am aware this is the only hospital that i have been at that does this (it may actually be illegal) I refused to take the medication and went to look for anoother nurse to back me up and there was no other nurses on the ward (deriliction of duty of cre perhps???). I decided that i needed the other nurses to come, and if nessicery to take an injection of lorazepam instead of my PRN medication. So i decided (defensively(this nurse wass rather aggresive)) to hold a chair to my chest and say ýou will have to come through me and this chair in order to give me my medication. He was quite a distance away at this point down the other end of the corridor he heard me and even though it wasn’t a particularly threatening remark(thats why i said it the way i did(in otherword i am open to negotiating)). He ran all the way down the corridor and barged me over he then elboed me in the face and then when i realised he wasn’t doing proper C.A.R (controll and restraint) i panicked and held him by the throat away from me so he couldn’t do it again. He then pulled his pit (an emergency device to call other nurses). When they saw me holding him back they all pinned me down and took me to my room to help me calm down. I questioned them as to were they had been and they asked me if i wanted to go to another hospital (cheadle royal) so idecided if i was going to be put on crappy illness inducing medication and be attacked by staff members to go there. I went and got put on levopromazine which made my condition worse, then meadowborrk came and asked m if i wanted to return there stupidly for me i said no (since cheadle was private there was little chance of me being treated correctly there it was just another method of controll. This was the point were people from prestwich hospital came to see me and told me that they would help me better than i ‘d been helped in the past they said it was a forensic unit, i asked if there was any other section 3 patients there and they said yes  but i still didn’t want to go then a single doctor came with a form and said that if i didn’t sign it he would sign it and place me in prestwich forensic hospital, i sould have contacted my mental health soclicitor at this point but i didn’t. I signed it and was taken to prestwich hospital. Iwas in for a big shock the hospital had massive fences and i was being put in some of the most secure actute wards for treatment. Since i was a section 3 patient i thought i wouldn’t be there for long (how wrong was i…) i then had a fight with a patient because he accused me of having done something criminal (i’m pretty sure he was going to imply i was a wrongun (somebody who has commitd a sex crime of some sort) i ended up being secluded and eventually they put me on clopixol (one of the few medications that worked). Then whilest waiting for the mediation to work on another ward  i saw a hell of alot of occultic hallucinations. The medication then kicked in and i was well again (or at least i wasn’t seeing so many hallucinations) i then got plced on another ward and even though i was well the psychiatrist decided i was schizoaffective and placed me on carbamazpine this gave me probblems nd eventually i was taken off it. In the mean time i eventually had the MRI scan that i’d been asking 14 years for. They found a low grade mass on my right frontal ole (frontal lobe) (medial prefontal cortex). This explained alot to me and i beleiev (even now) that alot my condition may be realated to this and not schizoaffective disorder. From there i was transfered to the ward i am currently on and a Neuropsychologist and  Psychologist saw me. The neuropsychologist said i had executive planing probblems memory probblems and attentionl shifting probblems. The psychologist said i didn’t have a ppersonality disorder but i had traits o borderline personality disorder. I had a few more scans which showed the low grade mass wasn’t growing and i decided to get a transfer to ridge lea hospital (lancaster) which is closer to my parents (i have been there before). However there has been funding issues so far and i am trying desperately to get the funding to go there i have even contact my local M.P to try and apply some pressure to get me there. I will tell you the results in a seperate posting. So now you know the story so far what doo you think of it all? It stinks of a cover up to me, even my complaints file was lost on dovedale ward and i’ve been told by someone in the know that the reason why i’ve been kept so long on a section 3 is because of ‘political’ reasons.
Please leave me som comments about this if you have bothered to read such a long ppost i would appreciate it.


Ive recently been promoting my site have a look below at the visions I’ve been having and please leave a comment even if you think im nuts lol

out with my m8s

Me and my m8s is now in the costa coffee in tesco prestwich drinking a few coffee we’re all wired lol drop in sometime we are quite often there.

Moving Back Home


Recently i decided to move to a hospital closer to home, this would have been easy if the funding bodies for where i’ve lived in the recent past and the future funding bodies could agree on who’s to pay for this.  So i’ve been having to write letters and be motivated enough to move things along a bit.  I’ve also recently been promoting my website. There (fingers crossed) be a bit more traffic to my website now…